So amusing to hold conversations with Eyshan these days. I love how I am being reminded to constantly watch my language and actions around him. He really absorbs them words up like a sponge. It is also hilarious to witness him being a little Elvy. There are days where he goes, “Wow, this is amazing!” “Good morning my baby!” (I say this every morning to him and now he says it to little Eijaz once he wakes up, seriously my heart melts hearing it) or “Eh malu, you cannot show this to others” – of course, the last statement is in relation to private parts.

Yes, there are days where he goes all commando right after a shower or pee and ta-dah! he decides to show off to everyone in the house. No matter how many times I tell him not to. Sigh boys.

Anyway, he catches on to our dialogues really fast. I hear him mimicking our daily sentences most days and the best part is he remembers it well enough to repeat them accurately when the time calls for it.

Like the other time where he had to make a big step to avoid falling into the small drain, I could see how he was actually a bit apprehensive in doing so. Like, “Oh no, will I fall if I do it?” kinda statements were floating in his head, I bet. So I cheered him on and said, “C’mon you can do this sayang! Stretch your leg and you’ll be safe!” True enough he managed to (actually the longkang also not that big lah hehe).

Next day, the same thing happened and before I could even become his cheerleader, I heard him mutter to himself, “I can do this, I can do this.” And jumped he did confidently, with a proud grin on his face.

Whoa at that point of time, macam goosebumps sey. I was kind of astounded because I really did not expect that motivational self-talk almost immediately. Dawned on me that kids absorb things so fast and every single second is actually a teachable moment.

Still learning to be the best mother to my kids…and I dare say, my teachers in this field are definitely my children. ❤


Bye Bye October

Before we know it, the end of 2015 is approaching us very soon. Too soon, if I may add, because I still remember how I celebrated my 27th like it was just yesterday. Considering that my birthday is just two days shy of new year’s day, so to know that I’m going to be a year older (and hopefully, wiser!) in less than two months means time is like, always, a super bullet train.

No idea how 2016 is gonna be like. Many exciting transitions ahead which will certainly keep us on our toes each minute of the day. Just yesterday, I showed a video about bathing a newborn on my Facebook feed and cheekily said to Sadiq, “You, back to the old days very soon for us…”

Our little boss has been a clingy koala on some mornings right after he wakes up. Everything must do with Ibu. No Ibu, no talk. Even his Abah gets a little annoyed at times (I suspect he feels left out ho ho) when that happens. Usually, the little one understands when I tell him that I need to pee/bathe/get ready, but we are not so lucky sometimes so Sadiq ends up prying him away from me and he will scream bloody murder it almost sounds like he is being kidnapped or something to that extent.

Yet on most nights, I am not so needed (love this part of ‘me’ time, certainly) because the both of them will be up bonding with each other through some weird pseudo wrestling moves. I’ve seen them in action, and sometimes it is so full of drama I myself cannot take it. I mind my own business then until of course, I hear the usual, “Ibu, Ibuuuu!” and I know time with myself is up and over.

Life is wonderful. 🙂


These days, my little man has been so possessive towards me that it is almost impossible to escape from his sight before and after work. Thankfully, he is absolutely fine when I bid him goodbye in the morning to go to work. It’s a different story altogether once I’m back to fetch him. In other words, he just simply loves looking at my butt and will tag along wherever I go. Pretty amusing actually. Like how when I’m in the bathroom, he’d knock so hard on the door, demanding “Ibu…Ibu!” it’s as if he did not just see me a few seconds ago.

While it tickles me silly sometimes to know that he is that in love with me, the other part of me of course feels a wee bit sad. My heart still aches all the time when I’m at work. How not to, right? As it is, I’ve already tasted the life of being a stay-at-home-mum once and I remember how fabulous it was to wake up to my baby in the morning, not having to be sucked into the morning rush. How I would just savour every second with him. It was really a beautiful 8 months.

We did everything together. We bathed together, we ate together, we played together…and the list goes on. Just thinking about it makes me so happy already.

I told the mister that I would love to revisit that role again in the future, insya’Allah. He, of course, agrees with me 110% (in fact, he was also sad that I chose to go back to work in a way as he always loved the idea of me being a homemaker, taking care of our kids 24/7) but for now, responsibilities do not permit unfortunately.

I may not have such luxury anymore, but I am still grateful to have a job that I’ve always wanted since graduation. Allah swt is the best of planners as usual and I am doubtless that while my rezeki may not be in the form of being a homemaker now, He ultimately knows what is best for us.


Time really flies. It’s been 20 months plus of our little one co-sleeping with us. We wonder when he will eventually sleep on his own (though this mummy here cringes at that thought, guess it can be heartbreaking to know when he will no longer ‘need’ me to go to sleep in the future *sob sob*) but we will simply go with the flow, of course. No hurry, baby!

His Abah is all ready for him to start sleeping on his own and always reminds me that we will have to start someday, but um, I’ll always counter about how the bed still has space right, and the little one still nurses to sleep at night so there, his Abah cannot help but surrender. Whoops.

So anyway, last night was a funny sight to remember. I normally sleep on the left of the bed but somehow I ended up on the right (where Sadiq normally sleeps at). He came back from class later at night, woke me up and asked if I wanted to switch positions. In my heavily groggy state, I must have said no because I remained at the same place.

We were mildly awakened by the little one much later, and guess what, he was crawling right on top of his daddy, tossing, turning and whining for a little while ..because we reckon he finally realized that this is so not Ibu.

He would usually go to me, either to nurse again or to just plonk his head on my chest and sleep back.

That was a good laugh in the middle of the night. I pulled him to me and shushed him back to sleep with him right under my ketiak. He was so pleased and slept soundly right after that.

Sometimes I hope this stays forever but I know it’s impossible and so, this memory will always remain etched in my mind.

A Year Later

Almost, that is. Here I am again, just sifting through my previous entries and chuckling to myself reading about my little one’s adorable antics since he was a day old. My last post was about him learning to crawl; right now, he is practically bursting with energy, walking, running, climbing…basically doing all kinds of things that makes him resemble an energizer bunny. There are just some days that he is forever oozing with so much ‘battery life’ that the only time he sits still is when he recharges. During sleep and nap times.

Sometimes, he is all over the place that the only time I get a good look at him is when he sleeps, or nurses. I am so thankful to Him for allowing me to nurse him up till today. 20 months. Wow, I would never have thought that I would get this far. Alhamdulillah. Just recently, there were many transitions to be made and one thing I worried most about was my milk. I thought about how I would be back to the routine of pumping and storing milk for him to drink in the day but it’s fascinating how you can plan and plan yet ultimately, He is the best of planners.

We bought bottles, I made time to pump in advance, yet when the time came for him to drink it, he refused it plainly. He would take a sip and scrunch his face or shake his head then continue to ask for it fresh. Since he still preferred to latch and was rejecting milk in a bottle, I wondered about whether he would need supplements during my absence in the day. I researched, read up and concluded that since he is actively taking in calcium from all kinds of food, it is not necessary to supplement. On hindsight, it felt comforting to know I was not reluctant, was perfectly okay with having to introduce fresh milk but what I was afraid of was his adjustment towards it. I have read about possibilities of discomfort, allergy and whatnot so that was the only thing that made me hold back for a little while. (Sometimes, being a mother, you worry if the decisions you make are selfish and at the expense of your own child. Scratch that ‘sometimes’, make that all the time.)

So what kept me calm was definitely my prayers. I prayed for Him to make it easy for me and my little one during this period because He knows what would be the best for both of us. True enough, my prayers were answered in the most subtle way ever.

My little one is perfectly fine without my milk for 9-10 hours straight, he latches on almost immediately when I am back and to my surprise, my body adapted well to the transition (no major engorgement, hurray!) and there was still sufficient milk for him.

Masya’Allah. Truly, He hears and listens. He knows what’s in my heart and I did not even have to ask.

What makes this even sweeter was the fact that Sadiq was so cool about it as well; no pressure, no worry, nothing. He basically went with the flow, believed in me and basically, understood that I had it all covered. Or maybe he’s just equally grateful that for 20 months and counting, milk for his junior is still FOC. Thank you Allah.