Happy Birthday, Me!

This morning just before my husband sent our firstborn to my in-laws’ place, he wished me a happy birthday.

He returned, got dressed for work and gave me a peck on my forehead like always. He wished me a happy birthday again with his right hand caressing my left cheek.

I was still in a groggy state of mind, half awake and half nursing my little precious. All I could afford was an mmhmm thank you.

The other day, he cheekily remarked that my birthday present would be delayed. He even chuckled that maybe he could get something from Carousell first. Tsk tsk so naughty.

Alhamdulillah I’ve got the most wonderful gift this year – the arrival of our 2nd hero and it’s beautiful how my prayers for a December baby was answered. Life since has been a happy riot so far and I know we will not want to have it another way.

There is really nothing more I would ask for. The past 28 years have sculpted me the way I am today and I believe I will always enjoy this journey ahead, with His consent. Happy birthday, me. 🙂


Bye Bye October

Before we know it, the end of 2015 is approaching us very soon. Too soon, if I may add, because I still remember how I celebrated my 27th like it was just yesterday. Considering that my birthday is just two days shy of new year’s day, so to know that I’m going to be a year older (and hopefully, wiser!) in less than two months means time is like, always, a super bullet train.

No idea how 2016 is gonna be like. Many exciting transitions ahead which will certainly keep us on our toes each minute of the day. Just yesterday, I showed a video about bathing a newborn on my Facebook feed and cheekily said to Sadiq, “You, back to the old days very soon for us…”

Our little boss has been a clingy koala on some mornings right after he wakes up. Everything must do with Ibu. No Ibu, no talk. Even his Abah gets a little annoyed at times (I suspect he feels left out ho ho) when that happens. Usually, the little one understands when I tell him that I need to pee/bathe/get ready, but we are not so lucky sometimes so Sadiq ends up prying him away from me and he will scream bloody murder it almost sounds like he is being kidnapped or something to that extent.

Yet on most nights, I am not so needed (love this part of ‘me’ time, certainly) because the both of them will be up bonding with each other through some weird pseudo wrestling moves. I’ve seen them in action, and sometimes it is so full of drama I myself cannot take it. I mind my own business then until of course, I hear the usual, “Ibu, Ibuuuu!” and I know time with myself is up and over.

Life is wonderful. 🙂

The Birth Story – Part 2

8 June 2013

No cramps, nothing, just the usual lethargy. Kept reminding myself that I should be more mobile to aid the labour process that may come anytime soon. Perfect timing since we were also getting the baby cot ready after collecting it from Kak Lis’s place the night before.

We managed to complete everything at around early afternoon, then Sadiq wanted to visit his sister who gave birth a few days ago. He asked whether I wanted to follow. Told him that I did not mind staying home, just in case (haha mummy’s instincts at work probably) so he went ahead without me and reminded me umpteen times to call him if I felt even the slightest discomfort.

Ibu was with me at home, too and I remember her checking up on me every half an hour or so in my room. My parents also cancelled their plans to JB that day. They wanted to stay overnight there but alas, decided not to. Maybe it was grandmother’s instincts at work too. Hehe.

I actually felt okay the entire day, though I knew I had very minor contractions going on. I never really knew how a contraction would feel like, especially since I have never really suffered from menstrual cramps, only backaches, so most of the times, when a cramp hit me, it was like trivia time for myself.

“Err, was that a cramp?”
“Ow ow, pain. Eh no more?”

Clueless I was, really. I just knew I wanted to ‘enjoy’ the day, being alone with baby in my womb. Even though there was no spotting or a waterbag leak and all… There was a very strong feeling that it would be the last afternoon with baby in me, somehow.

And boy, was I right… 🙂

Love Math

When our little hero turned 6 months old last Monday, I took a while to reflect and found myself smiling to myself a lot. Major learning took place, no doubt and what was even sweeter was that the journey was filled with more meaningful discoveries about myself and my lovely husband. We were blessed with a baby right after we got married and while the idea of it was always adored by us, we always wondered about the “what ifs” that would inevitably occur once our life began as a family of three.

To be honest, my greatest concern had always been about as to whether my role as a wife would be compromised once my new life as a mother commenced. Thankfully, I am blessed with a partner who always puts his loved ones before himself and sure enough, he wasted no time in assuring me that things would be okay.

I always worried about whether my love would have to be divided with the arrival of our son. Little did I know that there is no such thing, but that love will always multiply within us. 🙂

Sayang my two handsome heroes in my life so much!

The Birth Story – Part 1

I have been wanting to pen down my birth experience since many months ago, but never got around to it. Procrastination is indeed a very naughty friend of mine. So I thought, let’s do it now! Better late than never.

Or in this case, better write it down now lest I forget all about it totally! Which I doubt will ever happen, because hey, who can ever forget their first every birth story (and urm, all the pain that came along with it), huh? :p

7 June 2013, Friday

Sadiq texted me at about 10 plus in the morning to ask whether I wanted homecooked food from his mother since I did not bring any lunch to work. I said yes, and he came close to noon. Told me to take care and if there was any discomfort felt, to immediately call him.


Little did I know that in the middle of lunch, I felt like peeing and imagine my surprise when I saw a tinge of blood on the toilet paper and…what I believe to be my mucus plug. I was practically hyperventilating by then in the toilet! I was trying my very best to keep my cool but in my head, I was already thinking, “OH MY GOD, IS TODAY THE DAY!?!?”

I went out of the toilet, pretending to look calm (inside a bit haywire already though) because my colleague was in the room too and since she did not suspect anything amiss, I reckon that I am a pretty good actress! Hahahaha. I did not want to alarm anyone in the office, I was not feeling any pain or discomfort at all either so I had an inkling that it was not time at all.

Did a little googling after my colleague left the room and was glad to know that exiting of the mucus plug was not a sure indication that labour would kickstart anytime soon. Phew. You can imagine that my heart was in suspense simply because it was close to prayers time and I was somehow afraid if I could not get Sadiq then. But phew. I called Sadiq, who was rather panicky and asked 1001 questions but I assured him that I would be fine and he just has to pray that baby will wait until he is done praying. Hehe.

I remember wanting to walk around more after work and we did just that before heading home. We were waiting for the ‘go ahead’ text from Kak Lis to collect the necessary items for baby such as baby cot and etc. We only managed to collect it around 10 plus at night and when heading out, I remember Ibu asking me if I wanted to stay at home instead and let Sadiq do it alone. But I said it was okay because I somehow did not want to be far away from him.

We collected the baby cot and a couple more things with Abang Nur’s help as well. Headed home after that and I still felt okay. No pain, no contractions. Just the usual bloated stomach feel. Baby was kicking as usual. In fact, I slept well that night. Hehe.

On hindsight, who would have thought that it was such perfect timing to collect the stuff that night. We actually wanted to postpone but decided against it since the lorry was readily available that day and I guess we just followed with our, ahem, parental (chey bah!) instincts.

Okay, I will stop here. Will continue with the other parts ..soon!


The one thing that I am most sad about when I leave Eyshan Shahin to go to work is the simple thought of having to miss his milestones, small or big. I realise that has got to be one of the hardest things to not witness. It’s like his first fart, his first poo, his first smile, his first laugh, his first babble, his first tantrum ..you get the drift. I so wanna witness all of that.

But I know I cannot possibly be the first to witness it all the time. I really count myself lucky if I do, and so I keep hoping and praying that that little boy will wait for me and show off his new milestone when we are home.

Just today, Kak Lis showed me a picture of him holding his own bottle. He can apparently hold it very steadily now, even knows how to lift the bottle and finish gulping every single mililitre of his milk. And I thought to myself, “Hey I missed seeing it…” since I’m always latching him directly when we are together. Got a little melancholic about it (the little things always, <i>always</i> gets to me best, sigh) for a good five minutes before I finally shook myself out of it.

How I realised that I’m fortunate enough to have a sister who regularly updates me about his antics. I am even more blessed that my sister is kind enough to make me feel as though I am not so distant from my son after all.

So thankful for this. I may not have such luxury when he’s no longer being cared by her in the event she gets pregnant with no. 2, so positive vibes are definitely in and within. Almost a month since I started work and all I can say is that I have not missed out on many milestones just yet and I hope I’ll be granted more opportunities to witness my baby’s new antics, insya’Allah. 🙂

One Year Ago

16 October 2012 was the day Sadiq and I discovered about a mini-us in my tummy. Read my pregnancy diary and I must say, it brought back very sweet memories. I chuckled to myself, paused reading even at certain posts, simply because I wanted to immerse in that particular memory for a little longer.

Was supposed to get my menses a few days earlier (12-13 October) but days passed and my ‘down under’ was still clean! :O

So… Sadiq and I wasted no time in buying a pregnancy kit. Most of the shops were closed by that time (10 plus at night) so we stopped by a petrol kiosk. Hehe.

I was already asleep in the car on the way home but fatigue did not stop me from testing. Reached home, unwrapped the kit, said our prayers and I remember telling myself that “if it is meant to be, it will be…”

And I peed! For 5 seconds. Then had to wait somemore for 5 minutes…

And… TA-DAH! The results were staring back at us.

There had to be 2 vertical lines to indicate a positive result and we got, um, one and a half? The test line was pretty faint and we kept wondering whether I was really pregnant and stuff like that. The kit instructions specifically said that as long as there was a line, we could for sure say that it was positive. So… Positive it is! 😀 Alhamdulillah.

– Future mummy, insya’Allah 🙂

It’s been a year since that fateful night. I recall the days where I would look forward to the 9a.m. notification from my babycenter app every Wednesday because that was the day that our little hero turned a week older in my tummy.

I would silently squeal and imagine how he would look like swimming in me. I would printscreen every related information I came across on the web to increase my awareness. How I watched countless pregnancy videos just so that I would know his stage of progress week by week and would show it to Sadiq almost all the time till he made remarks like, “Nie kan you dah tengok kelmarin?” Hahaha I was pretty obsessed, I must say.

And then I recall about how Sadiq would use to give me very awesome back massages at night, sometimes even without me asking for them. Yes, he was that auto! Guess when you’re pregnant, you can just demand anything and everything and you would get it. :p