I have been feeling baby’s kicks more and more lately. Everytime it happens, I say a little prayer, hoping that our little angel will stay safe and healthy in my womb. As if I am not emotional enough (in fact, Sadiq just chided at me for tearing up when we watched Gangster Squad at the cinema the other day, hmpf!) on normal days, it is undeniable that hormones in my body are doing their own kind of thingamagic and I do admit that when I am alone, I think about our future.
It scares me silly to know that I am going to be a mother (in shaa Allah) in less than six months’ time! Just like how I was having doubts about myself during the months approaching our wedding, I have uncertainties about how I am going to be like. It’s good to know that Sadiq is always around to hear me out whenever such thoughts arise and vice versa.
The joy that this pregnancy brings to our lives as husband and wife is simply immense. I know that having a child right after your wedding may mean lesser quality time with your partner because your attention and time will have to cater to the little one’s needs but personally to me, it’s all a matter of perspective. Nothing bonds us closer to know that we’ve been bestowed with such a precious gift by Him… 🙂
So yes, I know I’ve abandoned this space for quite a bit. Kinda expected that but oh wow, I never knew time would just fly by so fast! No more two digit days countdown to our wedding. It’s now just six. From tomorrow onwards, I’ll be counting down with just my five fingers, baby. 😀
Sadiq and I had planned to observe the ‘pantang’ whereby we would not meet during a month before our big day so as to preserve the excitement since not seeing each other may mean that all the nervousness and the works would be magnified on the actual day. Well, absence sure makes the heart grow fonder. I see a picture of him and my heart would skip a beat (haha) because in my heart I would be thinking, oh my goodness, there’s no turning back now, I’m gonna be stuck with him for the rest of my life! I kid, I kid. I love the idea of being stuck with him. Absolutely exciting. Hee.
These few days all I’ve been thinking of is whether I will make a good wife. Seriously, I will never know until I am one and I honestly pray that I will fulfill my duty well. Cannot count the number of times I teared up after prayers just talking about it to Him. My fears, my worries, my anxieties aout the future. The unknown. Such a huge responsibility that I will be carrying. I know that I want to fall in love with Sadiq every single day. I want to always look forward to seeing his groggy self in the mornings, soothing his tired self after work and finally be the last face he sees when he goes to sleep at night. I will love his peculiar habits no matter how much they irk me. I will learn and improve myself all the time. Insya’Allah.
It’s also forty four more days to our wedding!? :O
Funny how I have been having marriage-related dreams so far but none of wedding. Maybe it’s because I’ve been happily daydreaming too much about it so my mind has had enough about it at night? Hur hur. One of the dreams I had was that we secured a Sale of Balance Flat (SBF) at Tampines; I woke up thinking it was real. Well, we applied for the SBF at Bedok in May but chances seem very slim now. There was supposed to be a Build-To-Order (BTO) project in Bedok for the recent launch in July, but there is none at the moment. None for the upcoming September launch as well.
Initially, we were bent on having a house in the East area but lately, Sadiq has been hinting that we should try for the Punggol/Sengkang ones and though I have nothing against these two areas, I do not feel comfortable applying just for the sake of it. You may say, “of course lah, you’ve never stayed there before, sure to have such feelings one” and I acknowledge that but there is a little voice in me that tells me to be patient and wait it out because who knows, maybe we’ll get our desired house in the near future…
Forty four more days before I become his missus. 🙂
In the words of Barney Stinson, “Suits are full of joy. They’re the sartorial equivalent of a baby’s smile.”
Gotta love him and his huh-what-the-heck quotes in How I Met Your Mother man. Hur hur.
Following up on our outfits for our wedding reception, we (and my future in-laws!) made a trip to the tailor to create a suit for my groom to-be! We considered renting from bridal companies or buying one off the rack but Sadiq and I felt that it would be memorable to have our outfits sewn. Macam personalised gitu lah… Hehe…
I must say, we’re happy with the fabrics and colours chosen. Google’s been our best friend when it comes to needing inspirations. Sure hope that it turns out lovely just like what we have in mind.
My wedding favours have been collected bit by bit with the help of Ayah and Ibu. What would I do without them, really…
Truly blessed with amazing parents and future in-laws ..and of course, the most awesome fiancé in my world. Love deep deep.
I don’t deny that scary thoughts creep up inside my head day by day. All the ‘what ifs’ that I can think of. I’m a pretty optimistic person by nature and so, I try my very best not to think too much into it.
I’ll relate some thoughts to Sadiq once in a while, and despite the fact that he doesn’t like me to think of such ideas, I know he fears of the unthinkable too…
Yesterday, over brunch, Sadiq and I chatted about our future. We talked about some particular changes in our lives that have been for the better and he mainly shared how he has felt a sense of calmness since. In fact, his temper has been a lot better over the years. We used to bicker about this; I, for one, have always been an advocate of peace when it comes to settling misunderstandings between us and I especially loathe it when people overreact to matters that can be talked and worked out in a simple manner.
Heart-to-heart conversations are love. I’m beginning to think that my man is not one of a few words, after all. Hehe.
Anyway, the conversation went on about our upcoming wedding, future home (insya’Allah), future car (insya’Allah) and all along I felt ..contented. In the past, we had conversations about our engagement, wedding, ambitions, dreams, etc and it’s really sweet to know that such conversations are slowly but surely becoming reality. Alhamdulilah. 🙂
Oh, we have collected his solemnization outfit yesterday. He looked so yummy (hee) and my head could not help but to conjure up images of him decked out in full gear. He was also very happy with the end result. Now, I cannot wait for mine to be ready!