The one thing that I am most sad about when I leave Eyshan Shahin to go to work is the simple thought of having to miss his milestones, small or big. I realise that has got to be one of the hardest things to not witness. It’s like his first fart, his first poo, his first smile, his first laugh, his first babble, his first tantrum get the drift. I so wanna witness all of that.

But I know I cannot possibly be the first to witness it all the time. I really count myself lucky if I do, and so I keep hoping and praying that that little boy will wait for me and show off his new milestone when we are home.

Just today, Kak Lis showed me a picture of him holding his own bottle. He can apparently hold it very steadily now, even knows how to lift the bottle and finish gulping every single mililitre of his milk. And I thought to myself, “Hey I missed seeing it…” since I’m always latching him directly when we are together. Got a little melancholic about it (the little things always, <i>always</i> gets to me best, sigh) for a good five minutes before I finally shook myself out of it.

How I realised that I’m fortunate enough to have a sister who regularly updates me about his antics. I am even more blessed that my sister is kind enough to make me feel as though I am not so distant from my son after all.

So thankful for this. I may not have such luxury when he’s no longer being cared by her in the event she gets pregnant with no. 2, so positive vibes are definitely in and within. Almost a month since I started work and all I can say is that I have not missed out on many milestones just yet and I hope I’ll be granted more opportunities to witness my baby’s new antics, insya’Allah. 🙂


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