Today marks the one week countdown to our engagement. People ask me how I’m feeling and honestly, pretty blank, in a good way of course. I think it’s because I know just how anxious I can be so I think my mind’s just blocking off certain emotions so that I am more relaxed.
But if you ask me, I’m not just excited, anxious and other emotions synonymous to those but I truly feel touched.
Touched that Ibu is cooking for our guests on that day. She’s whipping up her signature delectable dishes such as rendang and I know just how backbreaking it must be to cook 8kg worth of it. But she doesn’t show the slightest bit of exhaustion and really, this overwhelms me.
Before this, she had even told me to pass my monthly contributions to Ayah directly as she will be using the money (hers and Ayah’s) for the preparations. I was surprised and I told her that there was no need to as it’s only right that I fork out my own money for the whole event. She was shocked and told me that I didn’t have to, she’d simply let me know if there was a lot to be paid and because I know Ibu very well, this only meant that she’d fully cover the expenses.
I won’t let that happen of course. I’d fork out from my own pocket because it is only right that I do so. Furthermore, for all the hard work and effort that she will be doing (cooking rendang and other dishes, baking my lapis cake for hantaran and basically, settling the nitty gritty details) I don’t think I can ever repay that.
So if you ask me how I am feeling about my upcoming engagement, I’d say I’m touched. Beyond that, in fact.